FILL YOUR KINGDOM WITH MORE KINDNESS

Hello!  When we last checked in we let you know we were working on self-publishing a game.  Well, we are ready to unveil Kindness Kingdom!

Why did we undertake this challenge?  Out of necessity.  Last Christmas season we came up short in our quest to find the perfect manners game for little girls.  Nothing was out there that we liked – everything was too academic and sterile. Since we knew "courtesy starts at home" we started talking and plotting and found an artist WENDY and created this NEW adorable game for girls where Graceful Queen Geranium (“Queen Grace” for short) invites them to a tea party.

On the way to the party, girls make their way down a gemmed path in Kindness Kingdom that is fanciful, colorful, silly, and full of manners and etiquette education! The game board is a fairytale land of flowers, teacups, manners, humor, princesses, and fairies.  Here is a picture of the gameboard:

 We hope you’ll visit our site,  kindnesskingdom.com,  the very best way to learn more about the game and please spread the word! In this instance gossip is good!

Our game encourages empathy, develops important social skills, and nurtures a kindness of spirit that will help our players lead a more thoughtful life.  How fabulous is that?

This game’s creation was a labor of love for us and we are thrilled to invite all our friends to the tea party.  Let us know what you think.





HAS ABSENCE MADE YOUR HEART GROW FONDER?

Hello! Lest you think we have forgotten our blog - we haven't.  We have just been distracted by a fun adventure that is incredibly time consuming.  We are finalizing our children's manners game that we are self-publishing.  We cannot wait to share it with you!  So please be patient for just a little bit longer and we will be back in touch soon.

Sincerely,
The Ladies at MWM

MARVELOUS MANNERS RULES FOR CHILDREN

Looking for a quick cheat sheet on how what manners to teach your children?  Here is a great list to start you off.  Remember children will follow your lead.  Don't forget to set a good example.  Soon your children will possess a kindness of spirit that will make you beam with pride!

What Do Interpersonal Skills Have To Do With It?

How do our behaviors and attitudes cause us to interact with others; to help ourselves better prepare for success in life which will include participation in a career as well as social obligations and social “wants”, which are happy chosen events within our own lives that we want to participate in.

Interpersonal skills, what do they include? Habits, attitudes, manners, and the outside appearance (clothing, hygiene habits, and awareness of the physical/emotional self and of others), and behaviors we have while around people; these behaviors do affect how other people will interact with us. At times we do not realize just how important these interpersonal skills really are. It's easy to look down on others and to have a smug attitude about people who for some unknown reason lack interpersonal skills. Is this not the correct time to look within ourselves to better understand our selves? When we understand ourselves we are better equipped to understand others and then we become more well mannered; is this not logical?

We need to understand why/ how our behaviors and attitudes cause positive/negative reactions with others. This information will only help us better prepare for success in life.

We want our company to be wanted by others, to have people enjoy us and trust us. We want others to know our word is good.
These attitudes/views that others have about us must be earned through being the best we can be consistently at all times - day in and day out.

While these interpersonal skills should be taught right from the get-go in life– they hold hands with manners as they go for their daily walks - it is never too late to learn them and incorporate them into daily life. The easiest step you can take to instill these attributes is to begin with the first golden rule of manners: "to treat others as we want to be treated."

This rule never has nor will it ever go out of vogue. Being marvelously well-mannered helps one live a good and happy life. Pure and simple.

Empathy and Everyday Manners

Little Girl (age 1) had her feeling hurt at the doctor office – she was rejected by a little boy – approximately age 4 – he would not let her play with the blocks in the common play area. His father did nothing to help this little boy to learn social manners. This area is for all children not just his angel (devil). What a shame.

Mommy was so sad for little Girl but did not interfere with this situation. They were not going to be there long enough for it to get into a bullying session but this little boy is on his way to being a bully especially with no adult (parent, in this case) helping him to develop social manners. He was given a chance to develop (understand) empathy but the father blew it – no four year old should pick on a one year old – not nice – not fair – the father failed at being a father (this common knowledge should be known by all normal four year old).

“Empathy" the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner. (Merriam-Webster dictionary)

The little Girl is learning to handle feelings – if learning first-hand is not allowed she will not grow into a resilient adult. Mommy gives her hugs and kisses and pays extra attention to her, she is happy, she is only a year old, and if she was older her feelings could have been severely bruised. The father missed this opportunity to teach “empathy”, which is too bad since empathy is a learned feeling. Empathy helps make an individual a well-mannered adult. Why? When you know how you would feel in a situation, you will react with kindness, is this not the topmost behavior? Yes, it is.

It is hard on parents when we see the injustices our wee ones must endure, but endure they must. We do a disservice when we (always) run emotional interference – we must let our babies learn and develop appropriate responses to situation. It is our job as parents and caring adults to know when to step in and remove our child from emotional/physical harm. It is a hard road to walk but so very well worth it. It is up to the adults to help manage our children’s road so it will be safe. All age groups require different guidance but the one common element is – no one has a right to hurt either physically or emotional anyone. This is a pure and simple statement – it is true. Life can be hard at times but mostly it is wonderful, the glass is always half full. When children are taught to follow the basic rule of manners much of these troubling events can be avoid. Treat others as you want to be treated – another pure and simple statement.

But as parents we always want to take the culprits out by their knees!

My babies are full grown adults with babies of their own; I still feel this way about my babies – just take the sucker out by their knees, of course I don’t but I feel like it. A mother is a mother for her entire life and her babies are always her babies.

The most wonderful of gifts to our children of all ages is to let them develop into the person they will be, can be, and to let them know learning is a life time event, we learn everyday if we allow ourselves the opportunity. To be well-mannered allows us to go all places with confidence and to be always well-received. Why? Because we are nice people to be around, always putting others first, never wanting to cause embarrassment. How nice to be thought of this way! The rewards are great.

An after thought regarding empathy, we have established that this is a taught feeling that we should develop in all babies from the get go into young adulthood.

PS: hate, prejudice and bigotry are also feeling that one is taught. We must insure that these feeling are not part of children’s lives. These terrible feeling reap nothing but misery for the poor souls that posses them. We teach, yes we do - what you sow, you shall reap.

We want the goodness of the world for all who walk this earth.

Life is never simple but having behavior that gives us entry into society makes life so much easier and enjoyable. Being marvelously well-mannered is a wonderful thing. Being prepared for what possibility will come around your corner of life is a feeling of confidence - this is what manners give to you. Being prepared is having the battle half way won; knowing your manners allows you to join the game of life, pure and simple.

Children And Table Manners

Table manners? Where do you start? What do you teach? How do you begin? What should you expect? As a former nursery school teacher, I used to hear these questions all the time. And as a successful mum, I hear it now from new mommies wanting to raise happy and polite children. My answers have always been the same.

You start with the basics, when you have a child in a high chair. You teach the basics that everyone follows. They are always the same regardless of age. Once you are sure your own manners are up to par, you begin to teach by explaining everything you are doing and why. Children are little sponges thirsty to learn so constantly repeat yourself; eventually osmosis will take over and the table manners will just be a part of their daily routine. If you are patient and consistent and make it fun, eventually your child will learn proper table manners. Make dining a fun experience, enjoyed by all who join you at the dining table. It is your responsibility to ensure that the family sits down together at various meal times and spends quality time together as a family.

Once a child joins the family at the dinner table, they are taught to wait until everyone is seated to begin eating. If the child cannot wait because of hunger (because of age), give them a little something to hold them over until dinner is served. Please do not put a “tidbit” of what will be later served on the dinner plate. That will just confuse the child. What you want to do is to help your child realize this is not part of their dinner but just a little something to take the edge off and to help them make it to dinnertime where everyone is seated and dinner is enjoyed by all. Remember dinner is more than merely eating to satisfy hunger; it also is the time to nourish the body, and to nurture one’s emotional well-being. It is an event that connects a family at the end of the day, a time where family members share the experiences of the day and children learn the art of conversation. A well-mannered individual is a happy individual; they understand the rules of society and are comfortable in their own being. An individual who is unsure of themselves, and has no game plan, are generally not well received because they are not enjoyable to be around.

Learning proper table manners has always been a must for success in society but please do not belabor the point and make the experience unpleasant. You have years ahead of yourself to teach but if you make this an unpleasant event you just defeated yourself and accomplished the task of making this a” miserable” time for everyone at your dinner table. Your aim is not to have a perfectly mannered five year old but to have a perfectly mannered young adult, ready to go out into the world with confidence. With this in mind, here are the basics that should be covered – in the order they occur at mealtime:

• Everyone should come to the table with clean hands
• Place the napkin on your lap. A bib is the baby napkin – explain why they wear a bib.
• Wait for everyone to be seated and served before beginning to eat.
• Have proper sized utensils for the child’s hands and point out if any finger food is being served so your child can understand the way different foods are eaten.
• Take small, chewable-size bites. Never a mouthful. Explain that it is not very pleasant to look at and it is difficult to chew.
• Chew with your mouth closed, lips together, and don’t talk with food in the mouth. Explain that it is not nice to look at and people will not want to eat with them.
• Wait until your mouth is empty before taking a sip of your drink. Explain that no one wants to see food bits floating in neighboring cups.
• If there's something they do not want to eat, just leave it on the plate. Never force a child to eat, and never comment on the food you do not want to eat.
• Be considerate of the chef (no rude comments about appearance or taste). This goes for being at home, out visiting or dining at a restaurant. Being rude is unacceptable at all times; it does not matter where you are, being rude is just not nice.
• Food is passed to the right. “Please” ask for food to be passed if it's out of immediate reach and “thank you” when it is received. Pepper and salt go together, the set is placed on the table and the next person picks them up and passes on to the next place setting – never hand the salt and pepper set into anyone’s hands.
• Use a napkin to dab your mouth – do not smear or wipe.
  Let others finish what they are saying and do not interrupt. Two and three year olds have thoughts. Encourage their participation in the family conversation, remind them not to interrupt and when it is their turn to talk listen attentively to them. This will eventually get you to a “polite conversation” stage.
• As children get older they are taught to stay standing until all adults are seated.
• Children are to stay seated until they are excused. If they would like to leave earlier, they should ask to “please be excused”.
  

Manners are one of the most valued gifts you can give your child yet they are free. The cost, in time and patience, will be greatly paid back to you. In addition to teaching the basics in dining etiquette, you will be teaching your child how to be well-mannered, kind and thoughtful and just a happy well adjusted individual who will be well received.

Remember, children learn what they see so make sure you are acting appropriately as well. Take your time and treat your child (all children) with the respect you expect for yourself and your family. Your life will be so much warmer because you adhere to the first law of manners:

“Treat others as you want to be treated.”