Tickets Please....

Who doesn't enjoy going to the movies?

Who doesn't enjoy going to a live performance - musicals, theater, concerts?   My mum gave me a pair of onyx opera glasses - love them!

When people go to these types of public events they need to remember other people are around.   Seriously.

We recently went to a Tony Bennett concert at Wolf Trap and opted for traditional seats (as opposed to the great option of lawn seats where you are able to enjoy a fun picnic).    The boorish woman sitting in the row in front of us blinded us with the annoying light from her blackberry as she scrolled over e-mails and surfed the internet.  And then she annoyed everyone in her vicinity when she phoned a friend so she could hear the concert.  But the kicker was when she put her friend on speaker-phone so that we could all hear her say, "hello, hello, what, are you at the concert? how is it?" (More than once since they kept getting disconnected.) 

Please be marvelously well-mannered by being considerate to the others in the audience. 

Here is a good tip - I find it interesting more people don't know this but when you have to enter an already filled row to get to your seat, enter the row by facing the people in the row. Do not face the screen or the stage. By doing so you can properly address the people you are disturbing and look them in the eye as you say , "I am sorry, please excuse me."  The bonus for those already seated is that they do not have to stare at your behind as you climb over them.

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

What would your parrot say?

We have all heard that saying that “people often treat those they love the worst.” Indeed, some people view manners as something to dust-off and showcase only on special occasions and only for “important” people (interpreted to mean “not family or other loved ones”). We, however, know that manners are what make every day and everything a bit more special.   Marvelous manners are the foundation of a good life.

How are you using your manners to demonstrate to loved ones that they are truly appreciated?

Politely Declining That Invitation to Anger.

A friend, let's call him "B", was recently blindsided at by a complete stranger in the gym because he was throwing his plastic water bottle out in the normal trash can after his workout.  The fellow gym-goer literally started angrily yelling that there was a recycling bin out around the corner.  B remained calm (albeit it rather startled) and politely noted that he did not know the recycling bin was there (it was nowhere in sight), and then he proceeded to go throw his bottle away in the recycling bin. 

Cheers to all of us who recycle and do our part to improve the environment.  What I have a problem with is when people feel their rudeness is somehow "justified" because they are responding to the "wrong" actions of another.   Sorry, there is no free-pass on bad manners.

I am sure this passionate person felt in the right because B was in the wrong (in terms of slacking on recycling).  But this person went from "advocate" to "jerk".  What a wrong way to go through life - trying to bully others.   What a way to turn people off from the very thing you are advocating for in the first place.

Snaps to B because I think most people would have responded to a verbal assault by a stranger by being rude right back.  Rudeness begets rudeness.  But B was marvelously well-mannered because he remembered to "be nice to everyone, even rude people, not because they are nice but because you are."

The only thing you can control is your own reaction in a sticky situation like this.  Well-done B!  

What would you have done? 

Tennis Anyone?



Fun vintage tennis print - buy it for a tennis fan. 

I love tennis.  I love the idea of the sport.  Pleasant, polite, and gracious.   Even the word "love" is used to keep score.  It is all so civilized.  I wish I had more time to play and to watch.

It is - to me - the quintessential gentleman's (and lady's) sport with known and followed rules of etiquette for players on the court, not to mention for spectators in the stands.  Of course, I love the old-school look of the white cable v-neck cricket sweaters and the crisp white pleated skirts and shorts. 

Cheers - it is still around you can purchase it at Polo

Absolutely love it.  I am, however, partial to the women's pom pom socks for a fun splash of color.

Is anyone else bothered by the display of bad manners at this year's US Open?   We had to put up with Andy Roddick's tantrum over a call foot-fault call by a lines-woman.  He made a snarky comment about "1-800-Rent-a-Ref".

Then we had to witness the horrific display of vulgarity and violence between three fans who ended up being escorted out during the match between Novak Djokovic and Philipp Petzschner.  Thankfully, I wasn't able to watch many matches but it makes we wonder what else did I miss in terms of a lack of manners?

And love or hate Venus William's sense of daring style in terms of dress and sparkles, but there is something unladylike - not to mention distracting - when her outfit cannot manage to stay down to cover her undergarments.  

(Getty Image courtesy of Yahoo News)

Of course I know folks often get a peak at tennis bloomers - but it is supposed to be fleeting. 

I am heartened though that I witnessed gracious behavior and decorum when I was up at the US Open, with most of the players carrying on the tradition of courteous appreciation for their fans.  It was nice to see so many children carrying huge tennis balls with the signatures of their sport's idols.  Let's hope those players remember tennis' roots and embrace good manners on the court, which may (we hope) encourage the same in the stands (so turn off cell-phones, wait for changeovers before moving in the stands, and no more cheering at missed shots).

Idle Hands ...

We all want to make a good impression when we are eating in the company of others.  Most of us have been taught when eating to not fidget with one's hands.  But what o you do with your free hand when eating?  A definite don't - don't touch your face or your hair at the dining table.  So ladies stop trying to look seductive to your dinner date by twisting that strand of hair around your finger or running your hand through your hair.  You don't look cute - you look gauche.  But enough about what not to do....

Dear Abby recently answered correctly when she noted that one's free hand is to properly rest in one's lap when eating.  The column, however, neglected to specify that that answer is the proper guidance when eating American style (where you only hold one utensil when actually eating).  On the other hand, when eating European or Continental style, place your wrists on the table (when not holding a utensil or otherwise engaging in eating, drinking or passing food).

Napkin Rings

Last night, I was teaching a dining etiquette class and was asked the following question: "where does the napkin ring go after you remove the napkin?"  

The answer: A napkin ring is placed to the left of your plate, above the forks.  It does not belong to the right of your plate where there is  stemware and can cause accidents.

After the meal, the used napkin's center is pulled through the ring, and then the ring is placed on the table with that tip of the napkin pointing to the center of the table. 

If it is a casual family dinner, it is very likely the gently used napkins will be used again at the next meal.  To avoid napkin ring confusion family members should have their own distinctive ring, like the set below. 

Lenox China Butterfly Meadow napkin rings available here

If it is a formal dining affair, the napkin ring serves no official purpose other than ornamental (since the napkin isn't going to be reused), but the napkins still go back in the ring.  

Setting a pretty table makes family meal-time more special.  Cloth napkins are nicer than paper napkins.  We use cloth napkins in our home, but I have yet to use napkin rings but am now on the hunt for some.  Do you use napkin rings?  Does anyone have any suggestions of where to look?