THANK YOU NOTES



Vintage Marquis Letterpress Thank You Notes - precious

"How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it!" - George Elliston

I hope you are taking some time to write a heartfelt thank you note to everyone who sent you a gift. Ideally, you have already written them, sealed them with love (and a stamp) and mailed them on their merry way. But take heart, a thank you note is better late than never! So get going. Writing a marvelously well-mannered thank you note is an art form, but here are some basic principles we think should be included in every one:

• An enthusiastic opening: "Are you a mind reader? I have been coveting these earmuffs ever since I saw them while shopping.
• Thank you for the fabulous gift: "Thank you so much for the warm and stylish black earmuffs - they are so soft, I love them."
• Explain how you are going to use it: "I am actually looking forward to the winter weather so I can showoff my luxurious earmuffs, I will be the most fashionable Washingtonian walking around downtown."
• A second thank you: "Again, thank you."
• Closing of your choosing: "Sincerely yours, Kindest regards, Yours truly, All the best, Love, etc."

And if you don't like the gift - keep that to yourself. You don't really want to share that information with the gift-giver, do you? Still write a thank you note.

Whatever you write, make sure you give it some thought because as Emily Post reminds us, "the letter you write, whether you realize it or not, is always a mirror which reflects your appearance, taste and character." What elements do you think make up a fabulous thank you note?

"MANNERS ARE LOVE IN A COOL CLIMATE." by Quentin Crisp

Image By Ian Livingston

I love the photos of last year's DC snow blizzard by Ian Livingston.  Wherever you are, remember manners make everyone more comfortable and cozy and are always in-season. 

Haste Makes Waste....

"Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

I could not agree more with the sentiments of this quote.  Do you agree? I am already thinking of new year's resolutions and one of mine is to simply slow down and smell the roses.   It will make life more enjoyable and pleasant for me, and for those who encounter me, I am sure!


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What is your new year's resolution?

T'IS THE SEASON ... FLU, COLDS & GERMS

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"A plain white handkerchief is the sure sign of a confident and elegant dresser." Alan Flusser




buy decorative linen handkerchiefs

buy boxed cotton handkerchiefs

In addition to getting your flu shot and taking care of yourself, it is marvelously well-mannered to be considerate of others during "sick" season.  Do not go to work when you are sick - believe you me, you are not scoring any points with anyone.  Wash your hands often.   Carry sanitizer to help out in a pinch.  Do not sneeze into your hands - the proper place is in a clean and pressed linen or cotton handkerchief.  You should always carry one.  Or you could carry two.  As a friend's father used to tell to him, "carry two; one for you and one for your girl."   If you inexplicably find yourself without one, sneeze into your elbow.  

And we have all been there.  What do you do when you know someone is sick and they try to shake your hand anyway?   Some people shake the hand and then try to remember not to touch anything else until they wash their hands or sanitize.  Or you could do what I do, smile and apologetically say, "I am sorry, I have a bit of a cold and don't want to get you sick by shaking hands but it is so nice to meet you (or nice to see you) etc."   Keep smiling but keep your hand firmly at your side.  It seems to work rather well.  What do you think?  Do you have any other tips for getting through cold & flu season with grace?

THE ORNAMENTS OF YOUR HOUSE WILL BE THE GUESTS WHO FREQUENT IT. ~Author Unknown

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Recently, we blogged about what one can do to make an overnight house guest feel welcome. But that is only half the story. There is a whole other side of the equation that leads to a great visit. A house guest has more to do than merely show up. When someone opens their home to you it is one of the best compliments you can receive and you should accept it with grace.  What type of ornament are you?  Here are some tips on being a marvelously well-mannered house guest:

• Agree with your host on a mutually convenient arrival time and then be on time. If you are delayed, let your host know.
• If you are staying for an extended period of time, as soon as possible (even before your trip), share your schedule with your host so that calendars can be coordinated and plans can be made. You should not expect your host to entertain you 24/7 (especially if you are staying more than a few days) so have some plans of your own, and have an idea or two of things you would like to do - if your host asks you what you want to do.
• At the same time, do not treat your friend’s home like a hotel. Your host is likely to have planned some activities – graciously go along even if they are not your cup of tea. Who knows, you may discover a new passion.
• Show up with a smile – and keep it on for the duration of the stay. Traveling is a pain, we all know that but you will start your visit off on a sour note if you arrive, drop your bags, and start complaining about the trip, the weather, the traffic, or anything else. If you are traveling with someone – don’t show up arguing – your host will feel like closing the door instead of letting you both in.
• Bring gifts. It is marvelously well-mannered to show your appreciation with a thoughtful gift. Wine, sweets, gourmet olive oil, CDs, books, etc. nothing big is necessary, just something nice.
• Adapt to the household routine and pitch in when you can. Do your best to comply with your host’s household routine, offer to help with household duties (running an errand, doing dishes, etc).
• Be neat. Your host is not your personal maid so make your bed, keep your belongings in the designated guest area, clean up after yourself in the kitchen and bathrooms.
• Ask before you use – the television, the home computer, the car, the grill, etc.
• Offer to pay for something. You aren’t expected to pay for everything, but you are saving money on accommodations because of someone’s hospitality so pay for some groceries, pick up the tab at a restaurant, or cover the admission fee at an event everyone is attending. When the host treats you, accept it graciously – do not fight over the check (tacky and makes everyone uncomfortable).
• Leave on a good note – do not overstay your welcome. Leave on the agreed day of departure.
• Strip the bed before you leave. On the last morning of your stay, do not make the bed. Rather, strip the bed to help your host get her home back in order after you depart.
• Write a thank you note. Always, always, always. A little extra is to send flowers too

Do you have any other niceties that a house guest should do? What does your favorite house guest do that you just love?

MANNERS, OCCASIONS, & STYLE

One of our favorite blogs showcased this adorable set of Kate Spade Books on manners, occasions, and style:

The topics just about sum all we love and we cannot wait to buy and read them either!  What good stocking stuffers ... What is on your list this year?  These will be on mine.

HOSPITALITY IS MAKING YOUR GUESTS FEEL AT HOME, EVEN IF YOU WISH THEY WERE. Author Unknown

 At holiday season many of us open our homes to relatives and other loved-ones.  This can often mean having overnight guests.  While we all do it with the anticipation of creating fun times and warm memories - how can we make it a reality?  How does a gracious hostess make her home feel welcoming to her guests? 

While this topic could cover a number of things, let's just focus on the sleeping arrangements for now.   I am sure few of us have a guest room the size of this - but I love this picture (actually of the White House master bedroom during President Kennedy's term - Jackie designed it (1962)):


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 But no worry.  Remember a little space breeds good visits.  I actually think a guest room should be cozy, warm and comfortable:


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Here are some suggestions:

• prepare sleeping quarters with luxurious high-thread count sheets, an extra warm blanket to snuggle in if the bedding isn't enough, an amply supply of pillows, sufficient lighting for bedtime reading (along with a few books and magazines), a working clock, hangers and space in a closet and some other area for their belongings, a water carafe and glasses in the room, and a vase of flowers or gesture with an accompanying welcome note that says "we are so glad you are here".   Tip: sleeping one night in your guest room will enlighten you on what else would make their stay even better.
• let your children know the "guest area" is off limits - respect privacy.
• prepare bathroom facilities (first with a good scrubbing) then with more than enough fluffy towels/hand towels/face clothes, and nice (and new) toiletries (including new toothpaste/toothbrush/razor) for your guest's use.  I also include a hairdryer for the ladies. 
• stock the kitchen with a few extra treats - and let your guests know where everything is and that they are free to "help themselves".
• inform your guests of house rules that are important to you - do you allow shoes inside?  Do you want people in the living room or is the family room the preferred gathering place?  Most guests will respect your wishes.
• provide a list of phone numbers (your cell, cab service, local pharmacy, etc), along with maps and local areas of interest (museums, restaurants, etc) so they can enjoy your town, especially if you have to work during the day.  
• set aside special time to enjoy your guests! 

Do you have other suggestions to make house guests feel welcome? 

WHAT IS YOUR STYLE?

Image Source - buy these adorable gift tags

"Style is a simple way of saying complicated things."  Jean Cocteau

Your outward appearance -clothes, deportment, carriage - tell much about your character.  On the clothes front, we should not strive to wear an outfit that everyone notices.  Nor do we want to be a walking logo billboard (my obsession with Burberry outerwear notwithstanding).  Rather, shouldn't we want people to notice us?  Wouldn't it be nice if someone said about you, "I don't quite remember what she was wearing but she looked absolutely lovely."  How marvelous is that?  What is your style?  What do you strive for it to be?

Fa la la, la la la, la la la ... IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A FESTIVE HOLIDAY BUSINESS PARTY?

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Tis the season to be jolly, right? Right! And why not? You have worked hard all year and now the work holiday party circuit is already here. While it is perfectly reasonable to want and expect to have a jolly time at these events, remember you are not attending a work party solely to have a good time. These events can be great career enhancing opportunities or can have your boss rethinking why he hired you in the first place, and prevent you from being considered for other positions in the future.  

ATTEND THE EVENT. Yes, if it is your office party, you must attend.  Be on time. Stay at least an hour and if you bring a guest, do not abandon them.  Not only is that not particularly nice; people will notice and it will reflect poorly on you. So introduce your guest, include them in conversations, and if you do need to go off on your own to schmooze for a bit, circle-back often.

THANK THE HOST. Expressing thanks and appreciation to the host of the event is the proper thing to do. These contiune to be difficult economic times for most companies and a company holiday party is not a “given.”  Be grateful.

TALK TO THE VIPs. Whether the party is your company party or a broader industry event, take the opportunity to talk to the VIPs in the room – the folks you would not typically talk with at other times.  Just remember to have something interesting to say and don’t monopolize their time.

DON’T TALK SHOP. Do you ever notice how in DC it seems that all people can talk about is work – where they work and what they do? Make a better impression by conversing about something more fun and interesting than work – a book (unless it is a trashy romance novel or a self-help book), a play you just saw, a trip you just took.  Still stuck for ideas - scan the paper for interesting articles. Most etiquette books recommend steering clear of sensitive topics like politics and religion. But in D.C. how can you not talk about politics at some point? Just remember to be civilized and gracious in your discussions and don’t approach every conversation like a debate you must win.  No one will enjoy talking to you.

BE FESTIVE BUT NOT TOO JOLLY… DON’T OVER INDULGE IN THE ALCOHOL. While you certainly need to look like you are enjoying yourself, do not be the one everyone talks about at next year’s holiday party and the months in between.  Know your limits and eat something before the event.  

DON’T OVEREAT AT THE PARTY. Remember you are not attending these cocktail events to fill your stomach. Do not make a bee-line to the buffet when you arrive, do not pile your plate high with shrimp cocktail, and don’t stalk the servers passing food in the room.

What is the worst thing you have seen at a work party? What is the worst thing you have done?  Don't forget these parties can be fun - so don't be a Scrooge!  Cheers!

LEAVE SOONER, DRIVE SLOWER, LIVE LONGER.

That highway safety billboard message sums it up rather well.

Having children has definitely made me a better driver.  I have my very own eagle-eyed co-pilot in the back seat who will note if she thinks I am going too fast (for the record I was going the speed limit).   I don't speed or tailgate anymore.  And I try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt if they do a less than stellar move.   I do this because I think of the precious cargo I am transporting.  But what I failed to recognize before I had children is that other cars are filled with someone else's precious cargo as well.

People might not associate good driving with good manners but good (safe) driving necessarily requires good manners.   If you are distracted or are just thinking of yourself you cannot be focused on the safety and well-being of those also sharing the road.   Don't text, groom, or use cellphones (without hands-free devices).   Give yourself more time to get where you are going, and give the benefit of the doubt to the other driver.  Maybe they really do have an emergency, are really late, are lost, or are just having a really bad day.  Try not to take their rude or bothersome driving personally.

Most mornings I let someone in front of me or I try to do something "nice" to a fellow road traveler.  It makes for a much more pleasant ride.  Do you have any tricks for decreasing your stress when driving?

CHARGE INTO HOME ENTERTAINING

Lacquered Gold Dot Chargers Available At Target



Anna Weatherley "Solid Powder Blue" Charger at Bloomingdale's

The charger plate (also known as a “service plate”) historically made its appearance at formal occasions but more and more people are using them at all types of dining celebrations. The charger plate is an additional way of adding a splash of color or a dash of elegance and fancy to your tablescape. I prefer to use beautiful napery, flowers, and centerpieces to dress-up my table. To me there is usually enough china, serving pieces, silverware, and crystal stemware and I don’t want to add any extras. But to each her own. Here are the general etiquette rules governing charger plates.

The charger is already on the table (placed where the entrée plate belongs in the table setting) when the guests are seated. Food is never directly placed on it.

The charger remains on the table and the soup bowl (sometimes with an underliner) and appetizer plates (essentially anything served before your main course) are placed on top of the charger. It is proper etiquette to remove the charger (and the food-bearing plate) before the entrée course is served.

Charger plates definitely add an extra element to any table – in addition to the formal china they can be made out of different materials such as silver, wood, pewter, wicker, mother of pearl, and brass. Do you use charger plates?

Villeroy & Boch "Verona" Charger at Bloomingdale's

Jay Imports Wicker Charger at Bloomingdale's