THANK YOU NOTES



Vintage Marquis Letterpress Thank You Notes - precious

"How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it!" - George Elliston

I hope you are taking some time to write a heartfelt thank you note to everyone who sent you a gift. Ideally, you have already written them, sealed them with love (and a stamp) and mailed them on their merry way. But take heart, a thank you note is better late than never! So get going. Writing a marvelously well-mannered thank you note is an art form, but here are some basic principles we think should be included in every one:

• An enthusiastic opening: "Are you a mind reader? I have been coveting these earmuffs ever since I saw them while shopping.
• Thank you for the fabulous gift: "Thank you so much for the warm and stylish black earmuffs - they are so soft, I love them."
• Explain how you are going to use it: "I am actually looking forward to the winter weather so I can showoff my luxurious earmuffs, I will be the most fashionable Washingtonian walking around downtown."
• A second thank you: "Again, thank you."
• Closing of your choosing: "Sincerely yours, Kindest regards, Yours truly, All the best, Love, etc."

And if you don't like the gift - keep that to yourself. You don't really want to share that information with the gift-giver, do you? Still write a thank you note.

Whatever you write, make sure you give it some thought because as Emily Post reminds us, "the letter you write, whether you realize it or not, is always a mirror which reflects your appearance, taste and character." What elements do you think make up a fabulous thank you note?

"MANNERS ARE LOVE IN A COOL CLIMATE." by Quentin Crisp

Image By Ian Livingston

I love the photos of last year's DC snow blizzard by Ian Livingston.  Wherever you are, remember manners make everyone more comfortable and cozy and are always in-season. 

Haste Makes Waste....

"Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste."  Ralph Waldo Emerson

I could not agree more with the sentiments of this quote.  Do you agree? I am already thinking of new year's resolutions and one of mine is to simply slow down and smell the roses.   It will make life more enjoyable and pleasant for me, and for those who encounter me, I am sure!


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What is your new year's resolution?

T'IS THE SEASON ... FLU, COLDS & GERMS

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"A plain white handkerchief is the sure sign of a confident and elegant dresser." Alan Flusser




buy decorative linen handkerchiefs

buy boxed cotton handkerchiefs

In addition to getting your flu shot and taking care of yourself, it is marvelously well-mannered to be considerate of others during "sick" season.  Do not go to work when you are sick - believe you me, you are not scoring any points with anyone.  Wash your hands often.   Carry sanitizer to help out in a pinch.  Do not sneeze into your hands - the proper place is in a clean and pressed linen or cotton handkerchief.  You should always carry one.  Or you could carry two.  As a friend's father used to tell to him, "carry two; one for you and one for your girl."   If you inexplicably find yourself without one, sneeze into your elbow.  

And we have all been there.  What do you do when you know someone is sick and they try to shake your hand anyway?   Some people shake the hand and then try to remember not to touch anything else until they wash their hands or sanitize.  Or you could do what I do, smile and apologetically say, "I am sorry, I have a bit of a cold and don't want to get you sick by shaking hands but it is so nice to meet you (or nice to see you) etc."   Keep smiling but keep your hand firmly at your side.  It seems to work rather well.  What do you think?  Do you have any other tips for getting through cold & flu season with grace?

THE ORNAMENTS OF YOUR HOUSE WILL BE THE GUESTS WHO FREQUENT IT. ~Author Unknown

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Recently, we blogged about what one can do to make an overnight house guest feel welcome. But that is only half the story. There is a whole other side of the equation that leads to a great visit. A house guest has more to do than merely show up. When someone opens their home to you it is one of the best compliments you can receive and you should accept it with grace.  What type of ornament are you?  Here are some tips on being a marvelously well-mannered house guest:

• Agree with your host on a mutually convenient arrival time and then be on time. If you are delayed, let your host know.
• If you are staying for an extended period of time, as soon as possible (even before your trip), share your schedule with your host so that calendars can be coordinated and plans can be made. You should not expect your host to entertain you 24/7 (especially if you are staying more than a few days) so have some plans of your own, and have an idea or two of things you would like to do - if your host asks you what you want to do.
• At the same time, do not treat your friend’s home like a hotel. Your host is likely to have planned some activities – graciously go along even if they are not your cup of tea. Who knows, you may discover a new passion.
• Show up with a smile – and keep it on for the duration of the stay. Traveling is a pain, we all know that but you will start your visit off on a sour note if you arrive, drop your bags, and start complaining about the trip, the weather, the traffic, or anything else. If you are traveling with someone – don’t show up arguing – your host will feel like closing the door instead of letting you both in.
• Bring gifts. It is marvelously well-mannered to show your appreciation with a thoughtful gift. Wine, sweets, gourmet olive oil, CDs, books, etc. nothing big is necessary, just something nice.
• Adapt to the household routine and pitch in when you can. Do your best to comply with your host’s household routine, offer to help with household duties (running an errand, doing dishes, etc).
• Be neat. Your host is not your personal maid so make your bed, keep your belongings in the designated guest area, clean up after yourself in the kitchen and bathrooms.
• Ask before you use – the television, the home computer, the car, the grill, etc.
• Offer to pay for something. You aren’t expected to pay for everything, but you are saving money on accommodations because of someone’s hospitality so pay for some groceries, pick up the tab at a restaurant, or cover the admission fee at an event everyone is attending. When the host treats you, accept it graciously – do not fight over the check (tacky and makes everyone uncomfortable).
• Leave on a good note – do not overstay your welcome. Leave on the agreed day of departure.
• Strip the bed before you leave. On the last morning of your stay, do not make the bed. Rather, strip the bed to help your host get her home back in order after you depart.
• Write a thank you note. Always, always, always. A little extra is to send flowers too

Do you have any other niceties that a house guest should do? What does your favorite house guest do that you just love?

MANNERS, OCCASIONS, & STYLE

One of our favorite blogs showcased this adorable set of Kate Spade Books on manners, occasions, and style:

The topics just about sum all we love and we cannot wait to buy and read them either!  What good stocking stuffers ... What is on your list this year?  These will be on mine.

HOSPITALITY IS MAKING YOUR GUESTS FEEL AT HOME, EVEN IF YOU WISH THEY WERE. Author Unknown

 At holiday season many of us open our homes to relatives and other loved-ones.  This can often mean having overnight guests.  While we all do it with the anticipation of creating fun times and warm memories - how can we make it a reality?  How does a gracious hostess make her home feel welcoming to her guests? 

While this topic could cover a number of things, let's just focus on the sleeping arrangements for now.   I am sure few of us have a guest room the size of this - but I love this picture (actually of the White House master bedroom during President Kennedy's term - Jackie designed it (1962)):


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 But no worry.  Remember a little space breeds good visits.  I actually think a guest room should be cozy, warm and comfortable:


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Here are some suggestions:

• prepare sleeping quarters with luxurious high-thread count sheets, an extra warm blanket to snuggle in if the bedding isn't enough, an amply supply of pillows, sufficient lighting for bedtime reading (along with a few books and magazines), a working clock, hangers and space in a closet and some other area for their belongings, a water carafe and glasses in the room, and a vase of flowers or gesture with an accompanying welcome note that says "we are so glad you are here".   Tip: sleeping one night in your guest room will enlighten you on what else would make their stay even better.
• let your children know the "guest area" is off limits - respect privacy.
• prepare bathroom facilities (first with a good scrubbing) then with more than enough fluffy towels/hand towels/face clothes, and nice (and new) toiletries (including new toothpaste/toothbrush/razor) for your guest's use.  I also include a hairdryer for the ladies. 
• stock the kitchen with a few extra treats - and let your guests know where everything is and that they are free to "help themselves".
• inform your guests of house rules that are important to you - do you allow shoes inside?  Do you want people in the living room or is the family room the preferred gathering place?  Most guests will respect your wishes.
• provide a list of phone numbers (your cell, cab service, local pharmacy, etc), along with maps and local areas of interest (museums, restaurants, etc) so they can enjoy your town, especially if you have to work during the day.  
• set aside special time to enjoy your guests! 

Do you have other suggestions to make house guests feel welcome? 

WHAT IS YOUR STYLE?

Image Source - buy these adorable gift tags

"Style is a simple way of saying complicated things."  Jean Cocteau

Your outward appearance -clothes, deportment, carriage - tell much about your character.  On the clothes front, we should not strive to wear an outfit that everyone notices.  Nor do we want to be a walking logo billboard (my obsession with Burberry outerwear notwithstanding).  Rather, shouldn't we want people to notice us?  Wouldn't it be nice if someone said about you, "I don't quite remember what she was wearing but she looked absolutely lovely."  How marvelous is that?  What is your style?  What do you strive for it to be?

Fa la la, la la la, la la la ... IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A FESTIVE HOLIDAY BUSINESS PARTY?

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Tis the season to be jolly, right? Right! And why not? You have worked hard all year and now the work holiday party circuit is already here. While it is perfectly reasonable to want and expect to have a jolly time at these events, remember you are not attending a work party solely to have a good time. These events can be great career enhancing opportunities or can have your boss rethinking why he hired you in the first place, and prevent you from being considered for other positions in the future.  

ATTEND THE EVENT. Yes, if it is your office party, you must attend.  Be on time. Stay at least an hour and if you bring a guest, do not abandon them.  Not only is that not particularly nice; people will notice and it will reflect poorly on you. So introduce your guest, include them in conversations, and if you do need to go off on your own to schmooze for a bit, circle-back often.

THANK THE HOST. Expressing thanks and appreciation to the host of the event is the proper thing to do. These contiune to be difficult economic times for most companies and a company holiday party is not a “given.”  Be grateful.

TALK TO THE VIPs. Whether the party is your company party or a broader industry event, take the opportunity to talk to the VIPs in the room – the folks you would not typically talk with at other times.  Just remember to have something interesting to say and don’t monopolize their time.

DON’T TALK SHOP. Do you ever notice how in DC it seems that all people can talk about is work – where they work and what they do? Make a better impression by conversing about something more fun and interesting than work – a book (unless it is a trashy romance novel or a self-help book), a play you just saw, a trip you just took.  Still stuck for ideas - scan the paper for interesting articles. Most etiquette books recommend steering clear of sensitive topics like politics and religion. But in D.C. how can you not talk about politics at some point? Just remember to be civilized and gracious in your discussions and don’t approach every conversation like a debate you must win.  No one will enjoy talking to you.

BE FESTIVE BUT NOT TOO JOLLY… DON’T OVER INDULGE IN THE ALCOHOL. While you certainly need to look like you are enjoying yourself, do not be the one everyone talks about at next year’s holiday party and the months in between.  Know your limits and eat something before the event.  

DON’T OVEREAT AT THE PARTY. Remember you are not attending these cocktail events to fill your stomach. Do not make a bee-line to the buffet when you arrive, do not pile your plate high with shrimp cocktail, and don’t stalk the servers passing food in the room.

What is the worst thing you have seen at a work party? What is the worst thing you have done?  Don't forget these parties can be fun - so don't be a Scrooge!  Cheers!

LEAVE SOONER, DRIVE SLOWER, LIVE LONGER.

That highway safety billboard message sums it up rather well.

Having children has definitely made me a better driver.  I have my very own eagle-eyed co-pilot in the back seat who will note if she thinks I am going too fast (for the record I was going the speed limit).   I don't speed or tailgate anymore.  And I try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt if they do a less than stellar move.   I do this because I think of the precious cargo I am transporting.  But what I failed to recognize before I had children is that other cars are filled with someone else's precious cargo as well.

People might not associate good driving with good manners but good (safe) driving necessarily requires good manners.   If you are distracted or are just thinking of yourself you cannot be focused on the safety and well-being of those also sharing the road.   Don't text, groom, or use cellphones (without hands-free devices).   Give yourself more time to get where you are going, and give the benefit of the doubt to the other driver.  Maybe they really do have an emergency, are really late, are lost, or are just having a really bad day.  Try not to take their rude or bothersome driving personally.

Most mornings I let someone in front of me or I try to do something "nice" to a fellow road traveler.  It makes for a much more pleasant ride.  Do you have any tricks for decreasing your stress when driving?

CHARGE INTO HOME ENTERTAINING

Lacquered Gold Dot Chargers Available At Target



Anna Weatherley "Solid Powder Blue" Charger at Bloomingdale's

The charger plate (also known as a “service plate”) historically made its appearance at formal occasions but more and more people are using them at all types of dining celebrations. The charger plate is an additional way of adding a splash of color or a dash of elegance and fancy to your tablescape. I prefer to use beautiful napery, flowers, and centerpieces to dress-up my table. To me there is usually enough china, serving pieces, silverware, and crystal stemware and I don’t want to add any extras. But to each her own. Here are the general etiquette rules governing charger plates.

The charger is already on the table (placed where the entrée plate belongs in the table setting) when the guests are seated. Food is never directly placed on it.

The charger remains on the table and the soup bowl (sometimes with an underliner) and appetizer plates (essentially anything served before your main course) are placed on top of the charger. It is proper etiquette to remove the charger (and the food-bearing plate) before the entrée course is served.

Charger plates definitely add an extra element to any table – in addition to the formal china they can be made out of different materials such as silver, wood, pewter, wicker, mother of pearl, and brass. Do you use charger plates?

Villeroy & Boch "Verona" Charger at Bloomingdale's

Jay Imports Wicker Charger at Bloomingdale's

A DAY OF GIVING THANKS

THANK YOU

Two little words that should be on your lips much of today.  Whether you are a hostess or guest this holiday remember it is marvelously well-mannered to show your gratitude, love and appreciation (not to mention patience).   Let's try to remember the spirit of this holiday throughout the year.  What are you thankful for? 

PERFECT PARTY ETIQUETTE TIPS ... JUST IN TIME

The holidays are upon us and I wanted to do a holiday party etiquette blog entry.  But where was the time?  Then Williams -Sonoma answered my prayers!  Angelina and I were shopping and we stumbled upon the most adorable serving platter and plates - with what would have been the subject matter of the holiday party etiquette blog entry!
To say we are smitten is an understatement!  Rule 1 explains the appropriate way to welcome your guests; Rule 2 discusses a proper place setting; Rule 3 reveals the art of being gracious; and Rule 4 helps you through "the fond farewell."  The platter has all four rules on it while the small plates have one rule per indivudual plate. 

Short and sweet.  Go to WILLIAMS-SONOMA and buy these today.  You will be the hostess with the mostest in no time.   While these are a fantastic start, what are other party etiquette tips that are missing?  I can see another line of dishes coming, can't you? How marvelous!

THE CHARM OF HANDWRITTEN NOTES

Personal and charming handwritten notes make the messages sent and received a bit more special.  True, it does take extra effort to hand write something (as well as address, stamp, and mail it) as opposed to simply dashing off an efficient but certainly less elegant e-mail or text. The problem is that if you are like me, sometimes you don't have the right card in which to write and by the time you go to the store and find the right card, the moment is lost. Well this adorable product is your answer - a set of 60 cardstock notes of every card you will need in a year:


with adorable drawings on each....

No, I didn't make this marvelous find all on my own. I saw it in my daily email from the fabulous Daily Candy. Thank you Daily Candy! Just in time for holiday gift-giving and carrying out New Year's resolutions. Be marvelously well-mannered and show your friends and loved ones that you care.  Now if we can just be timely in our mailing of these precious cards.....

PRESENTS, GIFTS, AND HOLIDAY CHEER



Source: Martha Stewart

The holidays are right around the corner and that means holiday shopping is underway.  In the hustle and bustle of the holiday season the true meaning behind gift-giving can sometimes be lost.  

Giving a gift is intended to show someone you care and there is great delight in giving what you know is the right gift for the right person.  I hope we all know that feeling - it is a testament to the saying "in giving we receive."  But it isn't easy to do.  Take time throughout the year to learn what the person covets, remembering that the more expensive the gift doesn't automatically make it better.  We find that in an increasingly materialistic world the best gifts usually include one's time and the creation of memories that long outlast the life of many material objects.

But giving a nice bauble or some other gift is marvelous too!  Put effort into the gift's presentation - a beautifully wrapped package with a bright bow or pretty ribbon along with a joyful personal note always seem to make one smile a bit more than the fail-safe and convenient gift bag.  Check out Martha Stewart for some tips on gift-wrapping.

For the recipient who opens up the gift and is disappointed - never show it.  Your duty is to graciously receive a gift - put on a smile, act delighted and always say "thank you."  To do otherwise is plain rude.  Be marvelously well-mannered and promptly pen a proper thank you note.  More on that later....


   

TO ERR IS HUMAN, TO FORGIVE DIVINE.

"It is part of the highest civility if, while never erring yourself, you ignore the errors of others." Erasmus

No one is entitled to be the etiquette police and "correct" people for manners transgressions.  We all may violate this rule once in awhile - usually with a close friend or a relative but that doesn't make it right.  

Really, who wants to share company with someone who criticizes others?  I know I don't like to be with "those" people either.   And I like it even less when I have been one of "those" people.  Even though I have done it with the best of intentions, I do apologize for the times I have violated this simple rule of common courtesy.

Marvelously well-mannered people do not correct others, and marvelously well-mannered people especially do not correct loved ones out in public.   If you have done it, apologize.  Remember, marvelously well-mannered people try to make others feel comfortable and welcome. 

Have you ever corrected someone in public and regretted it?  Have you ever been corrected? How did it make you feel?

"THIS NATION WILL REMAIN THE LAND OF THE FREE ONLY SO LONG AS IT IS THE HOME OF THE BRAVE." Elmer Davis

November 11th is Veterans Day and is our nation's opportunity to remember all the men and women who served in the armed forces.  It marks the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice, ending the fighting in World War I.   

Be marvelously well-mannered and thank a veteran. 

It is also the perfect time to fly the American flag, just make sure you do it properly by following these guidelines from the American Flag Store.

"A GOOD LATHER IS HALF THE SHAVE." WILLIAM HONE

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Driving into work this past week I caught sight of a man shaving while behind the wheel.   I guess I  should just be thankful he went with an electric razor and not the traditional razor and shaving cream route. 

It was obvious that this guy was ill-mannered and a bad driver (his car looked like it had been in a demolition derby).  And I have to wonder how good a shave he gave himself.

Be marvelously well-mannered and do personal grooming at home and in private.  Be marvelously well-mannered and be a driver who is considerate of others on the road. 

What inappropriate personal grooming in public have you witnessed?

Bread Plates, Coffee Cups, Place Settings OH MY!




Formal Setting Courtesy of USC

Knowing your way around your place setting is a must in dining etiquette.  While I could go on and on about place settings for this post, I will limit it to one fabulously useful tip.  A friend of mine who works in the White House said one of the most useful things they learned from the Social Secretary's Office is how to remember which is your bread plate:  once you are seated, discretely place your hands on your lap under the table and make a circle with each thumb and index finger while keeping your other fingers straight up, like this: 

Courtesy of the Washington Post

Your left hand will form a "b" for your bread plate (which is on the left of your place setting) and your right hand will form a “d” for your drinks  (which are on the right of your place setting).  How marvelously simple is that?  Do you have any other tips that help you maneuver around the dining table?  Care to share?

Buy Some Candy Corn

I am so excited Halloween is almost here. Dressing up, a fun night out -or in, if passing out sweets, and yummy candy – what’s not to love? To make sure your Halloween is full of treats believe it or not there are some etiquette rules one should remember.

If you are the one handing out the goodies: 


Martha Stewart

 • Please make sure your home is well lit and safe for visitors – and make sure your doorbell works. If you have pets, keep them under control.

• Hand out candy that is store bought. Homemade items are generally thrown out for safety reasons.

• Don’t be “that” house on the block than hands out pennies, or raisins or other types of unappealing fruit.

• Answer the door in a festive mood – give candy to all who trick-or-treat – even those you think are too old.  Remember rudeness begets rudeness ….and possible tricks by teenagers.

For the parents of trick-or-treating goblins:
• Make sure your children wear age appropriate costumes. I still remember a girl in my third-grade class was dressed as a “hooker” I didn’t even know what that was. Needless to say my mum wasn't too pleased when I asked her about it, and consequently there were no play-dates with that family – ever.

• Safety first. Young children should be accompanied by a parent, carry a flashlight or use other road safety reflectors.  Children should also be reminded to watch for traffic because it is very likely cars won’t see them on the road. It is best to walk on the side of the road.

• When walking on someone else’s property – stay on the proper path (driveway, to path, to the front door). Stay off of the grass and out of the landscaping.

• Honor the hours of trick-or-treating in your area. When people turn off their porch light – they do not want to be disturbed.

• Children should make their presence known by ringing the doorbell or knocking on the door and greet the homeowner pleasantly and with a smile – after all they are demanding candy.

• Children should be reminded to take only one or two pieces of candy (depending on the size). If the household wants them to take more, the homeowner will certainly urge. I always do that because we have so few trick-or-treaters and the last thing I want is a bowl full of temptations in my home after the holiday!

• Children should be reminded to say “thank you”.

• If the house is lit but the homeowner is not home – and leaves a bowl of candy outside – your children should not take all the candy.

• When you get home, please examine all the candy before you let your children gobble it up. Safety first. Throw away opened wrappers, check for razors, and examine candy for holes in packaging.

Do you love Halloween?  What else can you think of to make sure the Halloween experience is spooktacular?

Chewing Gum Does You No Favors.

"Chewing Gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most." Willy Wonka

I don't know about you but I wholeheartedly agree with Mr. Wonka.  I was out today waiting while my daughter was at a class.  Many other mums were there as well.   All of us smiled pleasantly but didn't engage in much talk other than a few, quick pleasantries.  We all seemed to be trying to relish the quiet 45 minutes we had on our own.  But there was a skunk amongst us.  Another mum chewed and snapped and smacked her gum.  In short, I was disgusted - and I heard her despite sitting in a different room.  I cringe just thinking of meal time at her home.   

I see no reason to ever chew gum.  I have yet to see someone look good doing so.  Many people who do chew gum tend to do it after meals.  Be marvelously well-mannered, don't be a Violet Beauregarde.

  

Either brush your teeth again or carry mints.  Otherwise you may end up like....



Etiquette Isn't Just for Tea Parties and Ladies Who Lunch

I am seeing more an more articles on the importance of business etiquette.  Here a Forbes article on workplace etiquette - but there is much more that could be said on the subject.  Have you committed a faux pas?  What is the worst etiquette blunder you have encountered at work? 

Be marvelously well-mannered at work and follow the golden rule of treating others as you would like to be treated.  Do so and you will be a success.

Bob Dole, Sarah Palin, Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, Colin Powell....

Yes, it is election time.  But we aren't talking politics in this entry.  Republican, Democrat, Independent, Tea Party... whatever your political stripes, you should know of whom you speak. 

In a town like DC, one often sees people who used to hold positions of power.  It is wise to never count someone out.  So what do you do when you run into one of these DC celebrities?  How do you refer to them now that they are no longer in office or otherwise hold the position for which they are known. 

The answer is, it depends on what type of position they once held.  If they used to hold a position where there is more than one office holder at a time -- judges, ambassadors, senators, bishops, etc,  -- they use their "title" for as long as they live, in ever circumstance.  Hence, former Senator Bob Dole is still "Senator Dole". 

If, however, they used to hold a position of which there can only be one actual office holder at a time  -- The Governor, The President of the United States, The Speaker of the House, etc. -- they are referred to by the title they held previous to that one-at-a-time position.  Hence, Alaska Governor Palin, is referred to as, "Sarah Palin, former Governor of Alaska" or "Ms. Palin"; Former President Bill Clinton is now "Mr. Clinton"; Speaker Newt Gingrich is now "Mr. Gingrich"; and, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Colin Powell is now "General Powell".

Want to be marvelously well-mannered when you are hobnobbing with these people?  Robert Hickey, Deputy Director of the Protocol School of Washington, has a thoroughly researched book  entitled, Honor & Respect, to help guide you through all the forms of address and title imaginable - it is a great resource.  It belongs on every books shelf in DC!

Dog Lovers Beware!



Henry Clarke photograph circa 1954

 I am not naming names but awhile back I was at a business dinner when someone who should have certainly known better actually asked for a doggie bag for their main dish.  Yes, I know we were at a fabulous restaurant where the food is splendid and the portions sinfully inappropriate. But that is no excuse.  It is unacceptable to do this at a business dinner.  Period. 

Clothes Make the Man and Woman



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Do you strive to dress with taste? Our society's tilt toward the casual has unfortunately resulted in a corresponding decline in modesty, appropriateness, and taste.   I am not advocating that everyone should dress like a schoolmarm.  Rather, I wish men would dress like gentlemen and women would dress like ladies.  Think 40s, 50s, and the early 60s. 

Do you think you choose your clothes so others think you dress with taste?  Do you want to dress with taste? How do you define it?  It means different things to different people - but to me, a large part of taste has to do with consistently choosing quality and what is appropriate - for the occasion, for the weather, for your body, and yes, for your finances.

Gentlemen should keep in mind that ladies do notice your work clothes (so use collar stays) and your casual clothes (find an iron and wear something other than T-shirts and sweatshirts).  You will instantly have a leg-up on your fellow man. 

I haven't always dress consistently well but it is something I am striving to do.   Like it or not, we are all judged (and judge others) on our appearances and your wardrobe plays a big part of it.  We also feel better about ourselves when we know we are pulled-together.  It need not be expensive, but it must - at a minimum - be clean, pressed, and without need of any repair (fallen hem, broken zipper, lost button, a hole - fix it or get rid of it).

Let's all try to take it up a notch.  No more sweatpants on the weekend!  In that regard, I have taken a play our of our dear friend, H's, playbook by wearing more dresses.  A dress makes you look a bit more put together and stylish and it is a real time saver in the morning.  Just remember to only dress for your body type.  What looks fabulous on your friend may look unfortunate on you. 

Tell us about that one outfit you remember wearing where you felt completely pulled together and confident.  A great outfit can help protect you from feeling insecure and getting in your own way.

Wishbones Are Good Luck!



Designer Amy Lau



Designer Annie Kelly



Designer Sara Rotman

Having trouble finding that unique, just right chair to finish off your room?  Want a fabulous chair to make any guest feel invited and welcome?  Well, you are in luck. Hans Wegner, one of the leading designers of mid-century Danish design (high-quality, modernist designs that emphasize pure, simple, functional elements) is known for his modern and chic chairs.  His iconic Wishbone Chair will be available in pink for the next year as part of an effort to raise money to help cure breast cancer.   Who doesn't love pink?

You can buy a pink chair without a cushion at SUITE New York and 20 percent of the entire sales will go to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.  But you can bid at charitybuzz on chairs with cushions created by 20 leading women designers and 100 percent of the proceeds will benefit BCRF.  How marvelous is that?

Which designer chair is your favorite?  I like Annie Kelly's....  Fellow blogger, Ms. Katie likes this one.

What a fantastic way to do more than simply wish away breast cancer. 

Life Is A Celebration

Grace Kelly Poster

MaryCatherine always says, "if you don't make it special no one else will either."  Toasts aren't just for weddings.  Make your entertaining much more special by doing toasts.   Champagne toasts are fun and festive.  But toasts can be done with anything, including non-alcoholic beverages.  But I still love this vintage poster featuring the stylish and refined Grace Kelly.

Set the tone and create the mood for a fabulous get-together at your home with a "welcome toast".   Make your guest of honor feel special with a heartfelt toast at the dessert course.   If your guest of honor is marvelously well-mannered they will do a "reciprocal toast" where they thank you for your hospitality.  

But public speaking often scares people - even when it is in front of friends and family.   We all have witnessed (and possibly given) toasts that have bombed.  To help avoid that in the future, remember the golden rule for toasts - begin, be brief, then be seated.  (One should stand if you are toasting at a table larger than 8).    Look at the people you are with - not at your glass - when giving a toast.

What to say?  It takes a lot of effort to make something look effortless, including giving a marvelous toast.  At the very least, and contrary to some of the sophomoric and tasteless best-man toasts many of us have witnessed, please keep it tasteful.

So do some thinking, make it personal, and it is perfectly appropriate to get some help and inspiration.   I have always liked the following poem as part of a toast:

May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

What was the best toast you remember giving, receiving or witnessing?  

Tickets Please....

Who doesn't enjoy going to the movies?

Who doesn't enjoy going to a live performance - musicals, theater, concerts?   My mum gave me a pair of onyx opera glasses - love them!

When people go to these types of public events they need to remember other people are around.   Seriously.

We recently went to a Tony Bennett concert at Wolf Trap and opted for traditional seats (as opposed to the great option of lawn seats where you are able to enjoy a fun picnic).    The boorish woman sitting in the row in front of us blinded us with the annoying light from her blackberry as she scrolled over e-mails and surfed the internet.  And then she annoyed everyone in her vicinity when she phoned a friend so she could hear the concert.  But the kicker was when she put her friend on speaker-phone so that we could all hear her say, "hello, hello, what, are you at the concert? how is it?" (More than once since they kept getting disconnected.) 

Please be marvelously well-mannered by being considerate to the others in the audience. 

Here is a good tip - I find it interesting more people don't know this but when you have to enter an already filled row to get to your seat, enter the row by facing the people in the row. Do not face the screen or the stage. By doing so you can properly address the people you are disturbing and look them in the eye as you say , "I am sorry, please excuse me."  The bonus for those already seated is that they do not have to stare at your behind as you climb over them.

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

What would your parrot say?

We have all heard that saying that “people often treat those they love the worst.” Indeed, some people view manners as something to dust-off and showcase only on special occasions and only for “important” people (interpreted to mean “not family or other loved ones”). We, however, know that manners are what make every day and everything a bit more special.   Marvelous manners are the foundation of a good life.

How are you using your manners to demonstrate to loved ones that they are truly appreciated?

Politely Declining That Invitation to Anger.

A friend, let's call him "B", was recently blindsided at by a complete stranger in the gym because he was throwing his plastic water bottle out in the normal trash can after his workout.  The fellow gym-goer literally started angrily yelling that there was a recycling bin out around the corner.  B remained calm (albeit it rather startled) and politely noted that he did not know the recycling bin was there (it was nowhere in sight), and then he proceeded to go throw his bottle away in the recycling bin. 

Cheers to all of us who recycle and do our part to improve the environment.  What I have a problem with is when people feel their rudeness is somehow "justified" because they are responding to the "wrong" actions of another.   Sorry, there is no free-pass on bad manners.

I am sure this passionate person felt in the right because B was in the wrong (in terms of slacking on recycling).  But this person went from "advocate" to "jerk".  What a wrong way to go through life - trying to bully others.   What a way to turn people off from the very thing you are advocating for in the first place.

Snaps to B because I think most people would have responded to a verbal assault by a stranger by being rude right back.  Rudeness begets rudeness.  But B was marvelously well-mannered because he remembered to "be nice to everyone, even rude people, not because they are nice but because you are."

The only thing you can control is your own reaction in a sticky situation like this.  Well-done B!  

What would you have done? 

Tennis Anyone?



Fun vintage tennis print - buy it for a tennis fan. 

I love tennis.  I love the idea of the sport.  Pleasant, polite, and gracious.   Even the word "love" is used to keep score.  It is all so civilized.  I wish I had more time to play and to watch.

It is - to me - the quintessential gentleman's (and lady's) sport with known and followed rules of etiquette for players on the court, not to mention for spectators in the stands.  Of course, I love the old-school look of the white cable v-neck cricket sweaters and the crisp white pleated skirts and shorts. 

Cheers - it is still around you can purchase it at Polo

Absolutely love it.  I am, however, partial to the women's pom pom socks for a fun splash of color.

Is anyone else bothered by the display of bad manners at this year's US Open?   We had to put up with Andy Roddick's tantrum over a call foot-fault call by a lines-woman.  He made a snarky comment about "1-800-Rent-a-Ref".

Then we had to witness the horrific display of vulgarity and violence between three fans who ended up being escorted out during the match between Novak Djokovic and Philipp Petzschner.  Thankfully, I wasn't able to watch many matches but it makes we wonder what else did I miss in terms of a lack of manners?

And love or hate Venus William's sense of daring style in terms of dress and sparkles, but there is something unladylike - not to mention distracting - when her outfit cannot manage to stay down to cover her undergarments.  

(Getty Image courtesy of Yahoo News)

Of course I know folks often get a peak at tennis bloomers - but it is supposed to be fleeting. 

I am heartened though that I witnessed gracious behavior and decorum when I was up at the US Open, with most of the players carrying on the tradition of courteous appreciation for their fans.  It was nice to see so many children carrying huge tennis balls with the signatures of their sport's idols.  Let's hope those players remember tennis' roots and embrace good manners on the court, which may (we hope) encourage the same in the stands (so turn off cell-phones, wait for changeovers before moving in the stands, and no more cheering at missed shots).